Six Tips for Improving Your Relationships
1- Find out what the other person likes and do more of it.
2- Focus on the person’s strengths and express your fondness
and gratitude.
3- During a conflict stay connected. Don’t turn away from or
isolate yourself for more than a short amount of time.
4- Pick your battles. Not all differences or problems can be
solved and sometimes you just need to agree to disagree.
5- Let your partner influence you. You don’t have to be in
control all the time.
6- Get help when you cannot do it yourselves. It is a good idea
to get help when you first recognize a significant problem
that is not resolvable rather than letting issues build up with
time.
Arguments Worth Having
A study done at the University of Virginia shows that encouraging
children and teen-agers to argue calmly and effectively against
parental orders makes them much more likely to resist peer pressure
at school. The study observed more than 150 13-year-olds as they
disputed issues like grades, chores and friends with their mother.
When researchers checked back in with the teens 2 and 3 years later,
they found that those who had argued the longest and most
convincingly(without yelling or whining) were also much less
likely to have felt pressured to drink alcohol or take drugs.
Teens who learned how to handle disagreements with their parents
were also better able to cope with peer pressure.
Constructive disagreements with your children and teens requires
parents to listen to them attentively and rewarding them when they
make a good point, even if you don’t agree with them. These
arguments are a training ground for your children in their ability
to cope with conflict and independent decision-making.
Parting Words:
Randy Pausch: “Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.”